What's Your Thing?
So, this weekend I'm doing something special, something that I rarely do nowadays and something I really cherish. I'm going out clubbing. No, not the baby seal kind*, I'm opting for the old-school, hands in the air, dance your pants off kind of clubbing.
Some people just roll their eyes at this sort of behaviour and move on.
But many others prefer to very quickly file me away in the (Dum Dum Dum) 'Bad Parent Corner' (it looks a lot like the naughty corner but thankfully it comes with a fully stocked bar fridge).
Now, just for the record, I'm not strapping glowsticks to my toddler's stroller and parking him in front of the sub-woofer. I have instead made the educated and very sensible decision to leave him at home in the care of a grown adult for the night.
My question is, why when you become a mother, do other mothers expect you to lose your identity and subscribe to a strange competitive struggle?
I unfortunately missed out on the hormone surge that provides many mothers with the ability to cook a wholesome 3 course meal whilst crocheting a place mat. That hormone surge also neglected to wipe out every element of my original persona replacing it with that of a Stepford Wife.
Most people have a Thing right? A Thing that is an integral part of your make-up, something that makes you feel complete and whole and makes you 'You'.
For some people it might be building model airplanes, some riding a motorbike, some growing vegetables. What's yours? (nothing illegal thank you)
Well, mine is trance music. I make it, I collect it, I share it, I dance to it, I live by it, I love it.**
This is a Thing that courses through your veins, it means the world to you, and the connection that it carries transcends almost everything else on this world (yes, yes yes, my child does come first!). Some people don't get it (and for them I do feel more than a little sad, not being able to experience such depth of emotion), but every person should respect it, and nobody has the right to condemn it.
So come on people - be happy for anyone who has a Thing, something that makes them so utterly alive, complete, and ridiculously happy inside, whatever it may be. It's what makes us all unique, and what makes you You, and me Me.
Parenting isn't a competition, and having a passion such as this doesn't mean you love and care for your family any less***. In fact, being a happier person gives you the ability to love a whole lot more.****
* Just a joke people, I know, I know, not very PC!
**please send all music genre criticisms to [email protected]
*** please send all scathing parenting comments to [email protected]
****No children were harmed in the writing of this blog.
By Angela Sutherland, Germinal Press collaborator and author of forthcoming parenting book for dads.
Comments
On Wednesday, April Apr 2011 Scottie said...
“Good to hear Angela. Being a parent doesn't mean you can't enjoy the things you're passionate about, and enjoying those things doesn't mean you're neglecting your children. Got to stay a whole person in my opinion! From one parent to another who loves/lives/breathes trance - don't ever change!”
On Thursday, April Apr 2011 MissE said...
“So this is what you've been up to ;) I think everyone has a Thing, but some things are easier to get outwardly excited about. My thing is television, and I get no less joy from watching and then dissecting a really good episode of a show I love than other people do about their Things, but it probably only comes across to other people who've seen it too. But there's no way you need to lose your Thing just because you also become a parent. You're still you, after all!”
On Thursday, April Apr 2011 Chris Familton said...
“Indeed, you have to nurture deep passions for things like music to pass onto your kids. Musically it is always worth taking a moment to pay respect to the originators... add an h at the start of this and check out one of them ttp://youtu.be/9MHKJ9bBJDY”
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