D.B. Tarpley's Amazing Ass Blog - Part 2
Greetings people and peoplettes.
Do you like to be scared? Do you like the hairs on your arm to stand on end? Did you ever wonder why you are such a hairy armed beast?
Well, I love being scared. (My arms are fine thank you.)
I like to finish a story in the middle of the night and walk around the house whistling, turning on all the lights. It’s a silly thing I do, and yet maybe not. Maybe the monsters are really there, in the dark, waiting to grab my ankle fast when I walk by and never let go.
This idea was the inspiration and clay for my new book Lick the Razor.
I wanted to play around with the concept of what scares us all. And by that I mean what scares me. I have led an interesting life full of at least one too many fear-fraught moments; and if I can find something to scare me then it’s a fairly safe bet it will scare a lot of you out there too.
But I didn’t simply want to put on a cheap haunted house ride and allow you to giggle on your way out as you walked to the cotton candy shack swinging your baby doll’s clammy paw.
No. I wanted the fear to linger. I wanted the fear to take up residency in the back of your brain until you felt the need to contact the Catholic Church for an exorcism…only to be denied!!!
And I feel I succeeded in this endeavor.
Lick the Razor contains 15 stories of pure unadulterated evil. Even the funny ones will scrub your bloody soul rawer than any steel wool ever could. This book will slap your vagina straight off your crotch and if you don’t have a vagina it will slice your penis up the middle, tuck that into the cavity, and then slap that off your crotch.
Wow, “blogging” is fun.
Next time I will divulge some of my dirty little secrets. Thank you and have an amazing ass day.
D.J. Tarpley's Lick the Razor is available on this website as a downloadable eBook or from other sites such as Amazon, iTunes, etc.
Comments
On Friday, September Sep 2013 Sarah said...
“Hellraiser is my all-time scariest film. If your book came anywhere close, I'll buy it.”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 Fangtom said...
“Hellraiser is good (and you don't see those kinds of movies today) but the scariest thing I've ever seen is Blair Witch. I don't care what people say about the sequel or the concept behind the film, it was out-and-out terrifying. If a book could reproduce that kind of fear, I'll fork over a hundred bucks!”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 Steve said...
“As publisher of Germinal Press, I was keen to see your comments (Sarah and Fangtom). Agree with both of you - Hellraiser is a cracker film, totally unique and petrifying. And the Blair Wicth Project truly stands the test of time. If I think about a book or books that have gripped me over the years, I'd have to name some of the short story collections from HP Lovecraft and the unputdownable House of Leaves. Indeed, Lick the Razor has echoes of both for me.”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 kent said...
“Bollocks. Nothing beats the 70s slasher films like Halloween. If you want something a bit more contemporary, try House of the Devil. Saw the remake of the Evil Dead and that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Needed a few more laughs though.”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...
“Yes, yes, and yes to all those suggestions. Hellraiser was raw, Blair Witch was indeed frightening, and Halloween is the grandfather of them all unless you want to go back to Twitch of the Death Nerve. But I think what scares each and every one of us is diferent. For me, cinematically, I am drawn towards more psychological fare, ie the films of Cronenberg, Lynch, etc. Mulholland Drive scared the shit out of me. And I always find the films where the monsters are human to be the scariest, films like 'A Serbian Film', 'Salo', and 'Cannibal Holocaust' - the narrative inspiration for Blair Witch btw, all leave me breathless and exhausted. The stories in my book are all different. If you read it I guarantee you will cringe. I also guarantee you will laugh. You might even walk around your house and turn on all the lights. But whatever you do I'll bet you won't be able to find anything to accurately compare it to. It is different, unique, and really damn good in my opinion. And I am working on ten more just like it so if you enjoy please let me and Germinal Press know. Thanks all and keep reading. ”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 Godstomper said...
“Gonna check out your book just for mentioning 'Cannibal Holocaust'. I like my shits raw so ya best not dissapoint.”
On Friday, September Sep 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...
“Never fear 'stomper... my 'shits' is most definately raw.”
On Saturday, September Sep 2013 Eloy said...
“Got your book off Amazon dude. Nice work. Some interesting ideas in there. Keep them coming.”
On Saturday, September Sep 2013 Siegfried said...
“Try watching some European horror films. I recommend Angst. And the French really do some great torture porn stuff, far better and more thoughtful than the American versions of the genre.”
On Saturday, September Sep 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...
“Thanks Eloy, I will keep them coming. By the end of next year I should have 6 novels, 2 series, and another collection of short stories out. And I don't plan to stop there. So I hope there will be something for you to enjoy down the road. Siegfried, yes, I really do enjoy the freedom presented in foreign horror. But I really need a strong story and characters to tie it all together. 'Martyrs', 'Frontiers', and 'Irriversible' all rock. But they wouldn't be as good if they were only composed of graphic scenes.”
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