Honey, we forgot to pack the kids!
So, this month, I need your counsel.
Because it seems I recently committed a parenting faux pax...a mummy criminus maximus (not that I realised it at the time).
Admittedly, a luxury that is not available to many parents in our discombobulated modern world – I crossed the etiquette line and took a holiday, without the kids.
Yep, just like any normal couple with an overseas wedding to attend, my husband and I jumped onto a plane with just two small bags and took a break from things for a short while. We stayed out late and slept in, sipped afternoon beers and savoured lazy dinners, read books together, laughed together, reconnected, and reacquainted...allowing the stresses and exhaustion of being working parents ebb away for the first time in almost a decade.
For a myriad of reasons, we seriously needed some R&R time together, plus I'm incredibly lucky that I have amazing in-laws that adore their grandchildren and love having them stay – so a stay at Nana's house is a happy choice for everyone involved.
But does that make me any less of a loving parent, because I would choose to leave my brood behind?
Did they miss out on an exciting experience? Probably not. At ages one and five, the trauma of not eating fishfingers for two weeks had the potential to be far more disastrous than the counter appreciation of a long haul flight and a two-day long wedding.
Was the separation permanently damaging? Happily spoilt by Nana for a few weeks, I think the separation was far harder for me than the children.
But the persistent queries of my actions that echoed across the wires left me reeling and questioning my dedication to my family.
How could I enjoy anything without them there? How could I bear to be away from them for such a long time?
Yet, despite the questions, I am a firm believer in the age-old theory that it takes a tribe to raise a family, giving them a more rounded upbringing and helping the parents exponentially on this exhausting and very trying journey...assistance that I will be delighted to pay down once my children are fully grown and are exhausted parents themselves.
I missed my children terribly, and no amount of FaceTime could compensate for their cuddles. But the break was incredible and I love them even more, now I'm refreshed enough to take on the world, and more importantly – their world – again.
I think everyone needs a break sometime, and though on the next and all future holidays, we will go as a family, I don't have any regrets for doing it just this once alone, while they are both so young.
So parents and non-parents alike, tell me: Did I do the right thing?
Or is it proof that I clearly need to visit the "Thinking Chair" and consider my parenting behaviour?
A.J. Sutherland is the author of our latest title How To Be The Perfect Dad And Not F**k Things Up, which is available from this site and all good bookstores, and in downloadable form via iTunes and Amazon, among others.
Picture credit: flickr
Comments
On Thursday, August Aug 2013 lea84 said...
“Sounds like an amazing holiday! I'm jealous! Everyone needs time with their partners. Having kids often means we forget who we are, and forget what we used to do before they came along. I am more than a mum... its just finding the time to remind myself that's the hard part. ”
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