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D.B. Tarpley's Amazing Ass Pre-Christmas Blog

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Greetings people and peoplettes.

Christmas is nearly upon us and I realise that many of you probably expect me to rant and rave against the holiday and pitch a hissy fit about the rampant commercialism, etc...

But the truth of the matter is that I think Christmas is a wonderful time of year. It is beautiful. You gather together with family, eat good food and enjoy a festive ambiance. At its core, the holiday is about love.

And there is never anything wrong with love.

But, plopped smack dab in the middle of it all, is a commercial for Christianity. And that’s exactly what it is, a commercial being shoved right down your throat.

(Try new and improved Christ! – now with flavor crystals!)

The traditional Christmas story we all know and love is told in the four gospels of the New Testament – Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John. These books of course are named after four of his disciples and are written as a sort of firsthand relating of the birth of Christ.

There are several problems with this: 1) none of the four were actually around at the time of his birth and as such would have no first-hand knowledge of the incident; and 2) the books themselves were written two to three hundred years after the death of Christ, so no one who was alive during his time was alive at the time of the “telling”.

So why were they written?

They were written as a commercial to “sell” new converts on a burgeoning religion. Since the centerpiece of Christianity – at least in regards to the conversion of Jews who at the time were the prime demographic – was the establishment of Jesus Christ of Nazareth as the prophesized “Messiah” from the Talmud, it was important to provide reasonably authentic evidence to that effect.

Hence, the Christmas story – full of deliberate lies like all commercials – to act as an incontrovertible selling point.

Lie 1. Joseph and Mary had to return to their hometown of Bethlehem due to a Roman-imposed census. The Romans kept extremely precise records of the census’ they took, and there is no record of one in that region around that time. This narrative tick is in place to tie Jesus directly to the lineage of King David – from whose loins it was prophesized the Messiah would come.

Lie 2. Mary was a virgin. This is a well known mis-translation of the original Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek. The original text read “young girl”. It was deliberately mistranslated to make the Immaculate Conception more miraculous and to also tie it to further prophecy validating Jesus as the Messiah.

Nowhere in the original text does it refer to Mary as a virgin.

Lie 3. The nativity scene. There are so many things wrong with the presented image verses historical fact it is hard to list them all at once but I will try. There were no shepherds as at that time of year the sheep would be kept secluded in the valley. Joseph and Mary were a wealthy couple and would not have had to stay in a manger. There was no little drummer boy. Three wise men did not come to the manger to impart their gifts.

(Theological scholars mostly agree that the bible is fairly clear that the wise men visited the couple and the, by then, toddler in Nazareth directly before the family left for Egypt.)

There are more inaccuracies of course but the point is that none of this B.S. matters in relation to the holiday.

The holiday and its trappings themselves have nothing to do with Christianity whatsoever. The date itself has arrived as an amalgamation of various pagan festivals, chiefly The Roman Winter Solstice and The Epiphany; and has been juggled around over the ages amid confusion surrounding the transition between the Gregorian and Julian calendars. All the gifts and trees and food and trappings are the bastardized chum of these various pagan festivals.

And still, none of that B.S. matters.

All that matters is love.

That, in the end, is all the holiday is about: unconditional love for your fellow man.

So this holiday, skip the lies and the bullshit religion has to offer and just go out and help someone.

After all, it’s what Christ would have done.

Merry Christmas to all and have an amazing ass holiday.

D.B. Tarpley's Lick the Razor is available on this website as a downloadable eBook or from other sites such as Amazon, iTunes, etc.


On Tuesday, December Dec 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...

“I would just like to post a correction. I refer to Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John as 'disciples' rather than 'apostles'. They are of course apostles and still not believed by most academic theologians to have written the books... books written over 200 years after the death of Christ. Christ was a man. He did exist. But he was just that, just a man. And of all the sayings attributed to him there is only one which matters: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is the cornerstone of all morality. Everything else is just semantics. Be good to one another. That is all.”

On Wednesday, December Dec 2013 Jim Wilson said...

“Db is a thoroughly loveable dude who always cuts to the chase. No matter the subject, Db drills deep and sharp. Besides which, all the sheep were in New Zealand and some think God is an Australian. How could that be? Religion and Christianity in many ways tend to separate us and that is profoundly sad. Just another way for people to find differences over similarities. ”

On Wednesday, December Dec 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...

“Good one Jim... God, an Australian? Everyone knows she is a Lithuanian - 1/16th Cherokee eye patch donning 327lb prostitute who stands outside the dumpster behind the Waffle House on Crenshaw and Inglewood giving 1/2 off wink jobs every third Thursday of the month. Just read your bible.”

On Wednesday, December Dec 2013 Sally-Anne said...

“Mary was a Virgin. And there was an Immaculate Conception. Your reading of the Bible is wrong. I don't know or understand how you can say these things.”

On Wednesday, December Dec 2013 D.B.Tarpley said...

“Sally, the text of the bible has been translated numerous times throughout the years. The original Hebrew text was mistranslated into Greek as 'virgin' but the word virgin is never used in the original text. Some simple research will confirm this for you. The Immaculate Conception - one of the cornerstones of modern Christianity, has sprung from a simple flub by a translator ages ago. The 'legend' of Christ can then be compared to the 'legend' of Paul Bunyan. As the information has been passed down from generation to generation and translation to translation the story has grown and embellished. If you allow yourself to be spoon-fed the rest of your life then you will remain a child forever. ”

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